8 Jul 10

My God and my Lord, my hope and the joy of my heart, speak
unto my soul and tell me whether this is the joy of which thou
tellest us through thy Son: Ask and ye shall receive, that your
joy may be full (John 16:24). For I have found a joy that is
full, and more than full. For when heart, and mind, and soul,
and all the man, are full of that joy, joy beyond measure will
still remain. Hence, not all of that joy shall enter into those
who rejoice; but they who rejoice shall wholly enter into that
joy.- Anselm (1033-1109), Discourse on the Existence of God, Chicago: The Opencourt Publishing Co, 1903, p. 33


A man called his mother in Florida, "Mom, how are you?"
"Not too good," said the mother. "I've been very weak."
The son said, "Why are you so weak?"
She said, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days."
The son said, "That's terrible. Why haven't you eaten in 38
days?"
The mother answered, "Because I didn't want my mouth to
be filled with food if you should call."

A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he has a part in the play. She asks, "What part is it?"

The boy says, "I play the part of the Jewish husband."
"The mother scowls and says, "Go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part."

Q: Where does a Jewish husband hide money from his wife?
A: Under the vacuum cleaner.

Q: Howmany Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: (Sigh) "Don't bother. I'll sit in the dark. I don't want to be a nuisance to
anybody."